The Twelfth Ten: People Who Would Make Interesting Presidents

Kevin Smith
I'm a huge fan of the idea of having a smart ass who is quick on his feet in the Oval Office.  I'm pretty sure he could start a war on wit alone.

"Haven't two hundred years of failed missionary work overseas taught anybody anything? You can't convert people to anything - whether religion, or something as inane as our flicks."





 Bill Gates
I believe that he could fix our economic problems and he's just such a damned good guy.

"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."






 Tina Fey

She's smart, she's witty and she seems so down to Earth.  I think she would make the best damned speeches of any president ever.  We can just slip her on the ballot looking like Sarah Palin and snag the lunatic vote.

"A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss."



Ice T

It would be ironic to have the original gangsta rapper running the country.  And besides, wouldn't Coco be an awesome First Lady?




 "Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously fuck you up"



 Stephen Colbert

Anybody who has seen The Colbert Report knows that he has it all figured out and because he is America and so can we!

"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."






Eddie Izzard

I know he's British but he's intelligent and hilarious.  I'm pretty sure he could prevent a war using wit alone.  Not to mention that having a straight transvestite in the White House would be a great way to send a message to the "Traditional Marriage" group.

"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!"




Dee Snider
I would find it hilarious to see Dee Snyder, one of the people who spoke at the congressional hearings on censoring heavy metal music, as the most powerful man in America.  And for the few that don't know he is actually quite an intelligent bastard.

"I went for an outrageous form of expressing myself. It seemed to be a way that I could make my name and show that I was somebody."




Gina Carano
For the first ever female president, why not pick someone who can beat the snot out of all of the other leaders.

“When I first came into this sport I was looking around for somebody who had come in before me and had paved the way, and I just didn’t see it at that time. I figured I would do it how I wanted to do it.”





George Carlin
He had solutions to all of our problems and no one in the place to do something ever listened to him.




"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."



Stephen Hawking

Beside the fact that the man is super intelligent, I just want to hear the presidential speeches coming from a computer so we can all get used to it before our computer overlords arrive.  I also think he'd look awesome on a dollar bill.

"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."