Deadpool
Deadpool is a favorite of mine because he's so different from any character I've ever read before. His insanity leading to moments where he realizes that he's in a comic book are certainly highlights but I also love how unsettling he is to other characters. I don't see how anyone can not love the Merc with a Mouth.
Harley Quinn
Although she was originally written as a walk on roll for the Batman animated series, she was so loved by audiences that she not only recurred on the show, she was ported into the comic books as well. She is the only character that I feel has ever truly complimented the Joker as a villain.
Gambit
I'm partial to Rémy LeBeau because he is a a Louisiana native but there are many other reasons to enjoy him. He has a wonderfully sorted past with the thieves' guild in New Orleans on top of his connection to Mr Sinister. He is the only person to kiss Rogue and survive which gives him a distinction as well. Lastly, one of his powers is hypnotic charm which I think most people would love to have.
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Oh Nny, how you sulk. What can you say about a truly disturbed homicidal maniac that hasn't been said before. He points out the hypocrisy in the world which drives him mad. But he must go now because the blood on the wall is getting dry and the monster will get out.
The Joker
It's hard to imagine a list that includes comic book villains without including the Joker. His type of chaotic madness is what nightmares are made of. He has no concern for the moral quandaries of the average person and kills without care. And lets face it, he killed Jason Todd which was a good thing.
Iron Man
I can't say I read much Iron Man until I saw the movies with Rob Lowe. After the movies, I can't help but enjoy Iron Man's bravado. He's the type of man made hero that I can almost believe.
The Punisher
Frank Castle is a true bad ass who isn't afraid to get his hands, arms, feet, legs, body, and face dirty in order to get done what needs to be done. I am a sucker for an anti-hero and The Punisher is a classic anti-hero wrapped in all sorts of kick assary.
Wolverine
I don't think it would be hard to imagine that Wolverine is many children's favorite X-Man. He is gruff, violent, and mysterious. And what person wouldn't want the ability to heal nearly instantly from any wound and lets not forget those bad ass claws.
Carnage
Everyone has their favorite Spiderman villain and mine is by far Carnage. There is no villain in the Spiderman comics who is so simply evil and has no redeeming qualities. The host for the symbiote, Cletus Kassidy is a serial killer who is given incredible super powers upon having the symbiote bind with is blood. Carnage, unlike Venom, has absolutely no moral compass and will kill anyone for the sheer pleasure of it.
Dumas
Dumas is most likely the least known character in this list. He was the nemesis of the Manhunter Mark Shaw. As a child reading comics, The Manhunter series with Mark Shaw was the first time I read a comic series rather than just reading a single comic and I recall loving the villainy of Dumas the hired assassin.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
The Twelfth Ten: People Who Would Make Interesting Presidents
Kevin Smith
I'm a huge fan of the idea of having a smart ass who is quick on his feet in the Oval Office. I'm pretty sure he could start a war on wit alone."Haven't two hundred years of failed missionary work overseas taught anybody anything? You can't convert people to anything - whether religion, or something as inane as our flicks."
Bill Gates
I believe that he could fix our economic problems and he's just such a damned good guy."As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."
Tina Fey
She's smart, she's witty and she seems so down to Earth. I think she would make the best damned speeches of any president ever. We can just slip her on the ballot looking like Sarah Palin and snag the lunatic vote."A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss."
Ice T
"Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously fuck you up"
Stephen Colbert
"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."
Eddie Izzard
"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!"
Dee Snider
I would find it hilarious to see Dee Snyder, one of the people who spoke at the congressional hearings on censoring heavy metal music, as the most powerful man in America. And for the few that don't know he is actually quite an intelligent bastard."I went for an outrageous form of expressing myself. It seemed to be a way that I could make my name and show that I was somebody."
Gina Carano
For the first ever female president, why not pick someone who can beat the snot out of all of the other leaders.“When I first came into this sport I was looking around for somebody who had come in before me and had paved the way, and I just didn’t see it at that time. I figured I would do it how I wanted to do it.”
George Carlin
He had solutions to all of our problems and no one in the place to do something ever listened to him."Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."
Stephen Hawking
"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Eleventh Ten: Ways for the World to End
A quick note, for the purpose of this list, "World to End" means that humanity is devastated to the point of not being able to recover as a species. The big hunk of rock will be fine in most of these scenarios.
1 Plague
As medicine has become more and more effective and we have become more virulent with defending ourselves with a new plague, it seems that our hubris would make this a poetic end to the human race. We've seen recent news stories about "super bugs" that are appearing which are very much sensationalized. This doesn't mean that it can't or won't happen. We have been and are stumped by diseases. Viruses are a particularly dastardly foe that we don't have much defense against. Antivirals can work but they have to be targeted at a specific virus. We are in an arms race with bacteria and viruses and eventually we just may lose the war.
2 Asteroid Impact
Many may not be aware that there is a division of NASA that keeps watch on near Earth objects so that we will have some warning that one is coming toward us. The Near Earth Object Program has catalogued 9074 near earth objects greater than July 19th 2012, 1322 of which are classified as Potentially Hazardous Asteroids. Luckily we have already formulated plans on how to deal with these objects provided we have enough warning but there is a great deal we don't know about the universe and with NASA spending reduced we are learning even slower than before. Hopefully, our asteroid drilling crew will be ready when they are needed.
3 Alien Invasion
Many of us love to watch movies involving the invasion of Earth by an alien species. Movies such as Independence Day, They Live and Signs make us feel like we have a decent chance of defending ourselves if our first encounter is hostile. Realistically speaking, if an alien race wants to invade our planet and they have made it here from another solar system, their technology or biology will likely be so advanced we won't stand a chance. Stephen Hawking weight in on this very idea not long ago saying: "To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational. The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be. We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach. If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."
4 Zombies
This is my favorite simply because I find zombie fiction so fascinating. There is something so visceral about life after death being so horrific and painful. While some may argue that zombies would have fit well under the plague section, I decided to seperate it since zombies do not exist in homo sapiens yet which means we don't know what would actually cause the phenomenon. In the animal world, there is at least one species of wasp that turns cockroaches into zombies to use as incubators for their eggs. This makes the idea a little less far fetched than one might initially assume.
5 Super Volcano
Natural cataclysms can include many natural disasters such a super volcanoes, hurricanes and earthquakes. These various destructive forces are particularly frightening since they are all things we have no defense against outside of running for cover, however; super volcanoes are probably the most frightening. They are all so immediately possible that it gives one a sense of awe. There are 6 known super volcanoes located in Yellowstone national park, Long Valley, Valles Caldera, Indonesia, New Zealand and Japan. Computer models have shown that a super volcano eruption large enough could send the world into a winter similar to a nuclear winter as the sky is filled with ash. Plants and plankton would die off from a lack of sunshine which would start a falling of the dominoes destroying the food web and eventually leading to our own destruction.
6 War
The human race being the very destroyer of itself is a possiblity many have thought about through history but never before has this become so likely as it is now. In 1945, we as a race changed the face of the world by detonating the first atomic bomb. From this point on, we now had the power to raze cities with a single bomb, annihiliating a population in moments. And we have since made this technology more and more powerful and efficient. No longer do we need to send a manned crew to do the work, we can do it with an intercontinental missle. And yet we couldn't stop there either, we develop chemical and biological weapons that could be just as destructive if not even more so. It almost seems we are hell bent on this particular means of our end to come true. As Einstein to elequently put it, "I know not what weapons World War III will be fought with but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
7 Reality is not real
Maybe there is not reality. Just maybe we are all inside of a simulation (i.e. The Matrix) or just the dream of one of us. Philisophically speaking it is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that nothing we observe is actually real.
8 Artificial Intelligence
As a software developer, I keep a close eye on technological advancements and none fascinates me more than AI. I would guess that the vast majority of the people who will read this have seen the Terminator and Matrix movies as well as I, Robot where we are outdone by our own technological creations. Of course in the movies we always win out in the end because we love a happy ending but could we really defeat a cold caclulating foe who had no need for "rules of engagement?" I believe our attachment to our humanity, which is usually what helps us win in the movies, would be our downfall. Lucky for us, the chance that we will ever see an AI capable of the feats found in the movies is terribly unlikely. Sadly, contemporary computer AI has evolved very little since the early days in the mid 1900's. Certainly our computers have become more powerful and the access to information has become significantly easier, however; an AI passing the Turing test is still not something I can see even on a distant horizon.
9 Mayans
Heck, maybe the crazies aren't so crazy and the Mayan calendar really does end.
10 Divine Intervention
Heck, maybe the crazies aren't so crazy and the Edward Cayce is right.
1 Plague
As medicine has become more and more effective and we have become more virulent with defending ourselves with a new plague, it seems that our hubris would make this a poetic end to the human race. We've seen recent news stories about "super bugs" that are appearing which are very much sensationalized. This doesn't mean that it can't or won't happen. We have been and are stumped by diseases. Viruses are a particularly dastardly foe that we don't have much defense against. Antivirals can work but they have to be targeted at a specific virus. We are in an arms race with bacteria and viruses and eventually we just may lose the war.
2 Asteroid Impact
Many may not be aware that there is a division of NASA that keeps watch on near Earth objects so that we will have some warning that one is coming toward us. The Near Earth Object Program has catalogued 9074 near earth objects greater than July 19th 2012, 1322 of which are classified as Potentially Hazardous Asteroids. Luckily we have already formulated plans on how to deal with these objects provided we have enough warning but there is a great deal we don't know about the universe and with NASA spending reduced we are learning even slower than before. Hopefully, our asteroid drilling crew will be ready when they are needed.
3 Alien Invasion
Many of us love to watch movies involving the invasion of Earth by an alien species. Movies such as Independence Day, They Live and Signs make us feel like we have a decent chance of defending ourselves if our first encounter is hostile. Realistically speaking, if an alien race wants to invade our planet and they have made it here from another solar system, their technology or biology will likely be so advanced we won't stand a chance. Stephen Hawking weight in on this very idea not long ago saying: "To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational. The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be. We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach. If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."
4 Zombies
This is my favorite simply because I find zombie fiction so fascinating. There is something so visceral about life after death being so horrific and painful. While some may argue that zombies would have fit well under the plague section, I decided to seperate it since zombies do not exist in homo sapiens yet which means we don't know what would actually cause the phenomenon. In the animal world, there is at least one species of wasp that turns cockroaches into zombies to use as incubators for their eggs. This makes the idea a little less far fetched than one might initially assume.
5 Super Volcano
Natural cataclysms can include many natural disasters such a super volcanoes, hurricanes and earthquakes. These various destructive forces are particularly frightening since they are all things we have no defense against outside of running for cover, however; super volcanoes are probably the most frightening. They are all so immediately possible that it gives one a sense of awe. There are 6 known super volcanoes located in Yellowstone national park, Long Valley, Valles Caldera, Indonesia, New Zealand and Japan. Computer models have shown that a super volcano eruption large enough could send the world into a winter similar to a nuclear winter as the sky is filled with ash. Plants and plankton would die off from a lack of sunshine which would start a falling of the dominoes destroying the food web and eventually leading to our own destruction.
6 War
The human race being the very destroyer of itself is a possiblity many have thought about through history but never before has this become so likely as it is now. In 1945, we as a race changed the face of the world by detonating the first atomic bomb. From this point on, we now had the power to raze cities with a single bomb, annihiliating a population in moments. And we have since made this technology more and more powerful and efficient. No longer do we need to send a manned crew to do the work, we can do it with an intercontinental missle. And yet we couldn't stop there either, we develop chemical and biological weapons that could be just as destructive if not even more so. It almost seems we are hell bent on this particular means of our end to come true. As Einstein to elequently put it, "I know not what weapons World War III will be fought with but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
7 Reality is not real
Maybe there is not reality. Just maybe we are all inside of a simulation (i.e. The Matrix) or just the dream of one of us. Philisophically speaking it is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that nothing we observe is actually real.
8 Artificial Intelligence
As a software developer, I keep a close eye on technological advancements and none fascinates me more than AI. I would guess that the vast majority of the people who will read this have seen the Terminator and Matrix movies as well as I, Robot where we are outdone by our own technological creations. Of course in the movies we always win out in the end because we love a happy ending but could we really defeat a cold caclulating foe who had no need for "rules of engagement?" I believe our attachment to our humanity, which is usually what helps us win in the movies, would be our downfall. Lucky for us, the chance that we will ever see an AI capable of the feats found in the movies is terribly unlikely. Sadly, contemporary computer AI has evolved very little since the early days in the mid 1900's. Certainly our computers have become more powerful and the access to information has become significantly easier, however; an AI passing the Turing test is still not something I can see even on a distant horizon.
9 Mayans
Heck, maybe the crazies aren't so crazy and the Mayan calendar really does end.
10 Divine Intervention
Heck, maybe the crazies aren't so crazy and the Edward Cayce is right.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Tenth Ten: Fried Foods
1. Beignets: A true Louisiana signature and the single best fried food ever.
3. Cracklins: Another dish commonly found in Louisiana and something that by description doesn't sound like it would be good.
4. Mozzarella Sticks: You take an amazing food like mozzarella and you deep fry...genius.
5. Fried Pies: Hubig pies are one of those delicious memories from my childhood and one of the highlights from 4:00am fishing trips.
6. Monte Cristo Sandwich: A ham and cheese sandwich (occasionally including turkey) battered and deep fried to perfection then usually served with some sort of sweet dipping sauce makes this heaven in your mouth.
7. Fried Stuff Avocado: I had this for the first time when visiting some friends in Austin a few years ago. They take the avocado and mix it with pulled chicken, batter it and deep fry it.
8. Fried Biscuits (a.k.a. Chinese Donuts): I suppose I have a penchant for fried dough but I loved these as a child. My mother would bring me to a Chinese buffet and I would only eat sweet and sour chicken and these.
9. Fried Plantains: I've always enjoyed fried plantains, however; when I had them in Hollywood, FL as fried plantain chips, I was hooked.
10. French Fries: How could there be a top 10 list of fried foods that didn't include the most basic one. When done right, they are the food of the gods.
Monday, July 2, 2012
The Ninth Ten: Mondegreens
1. CCR - Bad Moon on the Rise
Actual Lyric: "There's a bad moon on the rise"
Misheard Lyric: “There’s a bathroom on the right”
I remember hearing this song when I was a kid and my dad telling me that this was the lyric. Eventually I learned the truth but not before I sang it this way many times.
2. Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop
Actual Lyric: "Generating steam heat"
Misheard Lyric: “The Generator sees me”
My friend Dave told me this one. I don't know that I ever realized what the real lyric was but the misheard one is wonderfully out of place in the song.
3. Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
Actual Lyric: "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now"
Misheard Lyric: “If there’s a bustle in your hedgehog, don't be alarmed now”
I think a lot of people have heard this lyric incorrectly and I'm willing to bet a lot of people wondered how you go about getting a bustle in your hedgehog.
4. Manfried Mann - Blinded by the Light
Actual Lyric: "Revved up like a deuce"
Misheard Lyric: “Wrapped up like a douche”
Quite a disturbing image in this particular lyric mix-up. I've heard a lot of people discuss this one.
5. Elton John - "Tiny Dancer"
Actual Lyric: "Hold me closer tiny dancer"
Misheard Lyric: "Hold me closer Tony Danza"
I honestly wonder how many times this request has been made to Tony Danza.
6. Jimi Hendrix - "Purple Haze"
Actual Lyric: "Excuse me, while I kiss the sky"
Misheard Lyric: "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy"
The best part about this often misheard lyric is that Jimi started to sing it this way in concert in jest. Apparently he would point at his bass player as he sang it.
7. Abba - "Dancing Queen"
Actual Lyric: "See that girl Watch that scene Dig in the dancing queen"
Misheard Lyric: "See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen"
This is a much improved song with the alternate lyric. Everyone go out and kick a dancing queen!
8. Pearl Jam - "Yellow Ledbetter"
Actual Lyric: I'm not really sure
Misheard Lyric: "Anna Nicole's mama said I don't wanna see Anna fall again"
It was truly hard to pick the best misheard lyric from this song since no one but Eddie Vedder really knows what the lyrics are. And there is a chance even he doesn't know them all.
9. Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl"
Actual Lyric: "I ain't no hollaback girl"
Misheard Lyric: "I ain't no Harlem black girl"
The implications of this lyric being misheard and mis-sung are hilarious.
10. Outkast - "Hey Ya"
Actual Lyric: "Shake it like a polaroid"
Misheard Lyric: "Shake it like a polar bear ninja"
The thought of a polar bear ninja is far too much humor to be contained.
Actual Lyric: "There's a bad moon on the rise"
Misheard Lyric: “There’s a bathroom on the right”
I remember hearing this song when I was a kid and my dad telling me that this was the lyric. Eventually I learned the truth but not before I sang it this way many times.
2. Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop
Actual Lyric: "Generating steam heat"
Misheard Lyric: “The Generator sees me”
My friend Dave told me this one. I don't know that I ever realized what the real lyric was but the misheard one is wonderfully out of place in the song.
3. Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
Actual Lyric: "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now"
Misheard Lyric: “If there’s a bustle in your hedgehog, don't be alarmed now”
I think a lot of people have heard this lyric incorrectly and I'm willing to bet a lot of people wondered how you go about getting a bustle in your hedgehog.
4. Manfried Mann - Blinded by the Light
Actual Lyric: "Revved up like a deuce"
Misheard Lyric: “Wrapped up like a douche”
Quite a disturbing image in this particular lyric mix-up. I've heard a lot of people discuss this one.
5. Elton John - "Tiny Dancer"
Actual Lyric: "Hold me closer tiny dancer"
Misheard Lyric: "Hold me closer Tony Danza"
I honestly wonder how many times this request has been made to Tony Danza.
6. Jimi Hendrix - "Purple Haze"
Actual Lyric: "Excuse me, while I kiss the sky"
Misheard Lyric: "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy"
The best part about this often misheard lyric is that Jimi started to sing it this way in concert in jest. Apparently he would point at his bass player as he sang it.
7. Abba - "Dancing Queen"
Actual Lyric: "See that girl Watch that scene Dig in the dancing queen"
Misheard Lyric: "See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen"
This is a much improved song with the alternate lyric. Everyone go out and kick a dancing queen!
8. Pearl Jam - "Yellow Ledbetter"
Actual Lyric: I'm not really sure
Misheard Lyric: "Anna Nicole's mama said I don't wanna see Anna fall again"
It was truly hard to pick the best misheard lyric from this song since no one but Eddie Vedder really knows what the lyrics are. And there is a chance even he doesn't know them all.
9. Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl"
Actual Lyric: "I ain't no hollaback girl"
Misheard Lyric: "I ain't no Harlem black girl"
The implications of this lyric being misheard and mis-sung are hilarious.
10. Outkast - "Hey Ya"
Actual Lyric: "Shake it like a polaroid"
Misheard Lyric: "Shake it like a polar bear ninja"
The thought of a polar bear ninja is far too much humor to be contained.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Eighth Ten. Damn, Nature, You Scary!
1. The Angler Fish
This is actually a whole group of fish with a great variety of appearance and behaviors. The one that is most commonly portrayed is the Black Devil Angler fish with it's glowing lure, beady eyes and sharp spear-like teeth. There are other varieties that are less frightening in a traditional sense but potentially more creepy, like the Leafvent Angler whose males attach themselves to the female and meld with them, eventually becoming nothing more than a pair of testes.
2. Emerald Cockroach Wasp
It seems that nature has some bizarre methods for reproduction. In the case of the Emerald Cockroach Wasp, it all starts by creating a zombie. This solitary insect stings a cockroach twice injecting a venom which ultimately gives the wasp control of the roach using the roach's antenna. It then leads the roach to it's burrow so that it can lay it's a 2cm (0.78in) long egg on the roach's abdomen. The roach, now zombified, stays there while the egg hatches and the larva burrows into it to consume it's internal organs.
3. East African Giant Snail
This enormous Gastropod can have grow upwards of 20cm (7.87in) in length. That's certainly beyond the realm of a cute little snail, however; that's not the only thing that makes them disturbing. Apparently, when they infest an area, they are nearly impossible to eradicate. There have been many methods employed including flame throwers and containing/starving them with salt and pesticides which were quite ineffective.
4. The Sea Wasp
This is widely regarded as the most lethal of all box jellyfish. When hunting, the tentacles on this nightmare creature can be as long as 3m (9.8ft) long and are covered in many thousands of stinging cells that act as miniature darts injecting a very powerful venom. A fatal sting has been known to do it's work in less than 4 minutes on a full grown adult human. This is notably faster than snake, spider or insect venom. Many victims die from cardiac arrest or drowning before they can reach safety.
5. Hippopotamus
Chances are, if you are in Africa and are killed, then you were killed by a Hippopotamus. These enormous herbivores are exceptionally aggressive toward anything that they consider a threat especially when they have young present. This includes crocodiles, lions and human who they have been known to attack on site with no provocation. Dead crocodiles are enough to make me weary of this frightening beast.
6. The Platypus
While this odd looking mix of a beaver, an otter and a duck can appear to be cute in the eyes of the correct beholder, it hides a pain inducing secret. Hiding on the hind legs of the male platypus is a set of poisonous barbs that inject a cocktail of poisons unique to this creature. This poison which consists primarily of definsin-like proteins is capable of killing smaller animals such as dogs and cats but not plentiful enough in the sting of a platypus, however; it can cause such intense pain that it is possible to render a human unconscious. After the sting, a heightened sensitivity to pain has been reported to last from hours to months in a victim.
7. Tree Weta
The nearly impossible to kill Tree Weta can grow up to 40mm (1.5in) in length and most commonly inhabit holes in trees left by beetle and moth larvae. A chemical in their blood acts as a type of anti-freeze allowing them to be completely frozen down to 14 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effects when thawed. Now the kicker, apparently as they freeze, their brain and heart dies. When they are thawed back out, the brain and heart come back to life making this insect nature's way of making a Romero film.
8. Water Moccasin
All of the creatures listed above would be considered exotic species here in Louisiana, so lets talk about something that is scary and found right here in Louisiana wetlands, the Cotton Mouth Snake or Water Moccasin. The Water Moccasin is an extremely venomous snake and the only semi-aquatic pit viper. Their bite is extremely painful and occasionally fatal. While the aggressive nature of the snake has bee exaggerated, they do not run when confronted and on rare occasions the male of the species has been known to approach humans.
9. Hurricanes
So far this list has concentrated on nature's frightening animals and insects but nature has more ways to scare us. Another force of nature that is common in the Gulf region of the United States is the hurricane. Many remember the destruction wrought by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 which led to over 1500 human casualties and countless animal deaths. And though hurricane deaths are relatively low compared to other extreme weather deaths, the force itself is enough to give one pause. Hurricanes can grow larger than 888km (552mi) in diameter and garner winds that can reach up to 314km/h (195mph). It's no wonder hurricanes are the only natural disaster we give names to.
10. The Bubonic Plague
I think that a natural force that eradicated a 30 to 60% of the population of Europe in the 14th century is a great way to round out this list. The Y. pestis bacteria is the culprit responsible for the myriad of terrible symptoms that appeared during the plague including: acral gangrene, continuous vomiting, fever, muscle cramps, seizures and more. While we now have anti-bacterial treatments that can cure the plague, more and more infections diseases are becoming immune to our drugs and nature is always creating new single celled and micro-organisms to wreak havoc on us as a species.
This is actually a whole group of fish with a great variety of appearance and behaviors. The one that is most commonly portrayed is the Black Devil Angler fish with it's glowing lure, beady eyes and sharp spear-like teeth. There are other varieties that are less frightening in a traditional sense but potentially more creepy, like the Leafvent Angler whose males attach themselves to the female and meld with them, eventually becoming nothing more than a pair of testes.
2. Emerald Cockroach Wasp
It seems that nature has some bizarre methods for reproduction. In the case of the Emerald Cockroach Wasp, it all starts by creating a zombie. This solitary insect stings a cockroach twice injecting a venom which ultimately gives the wasp control of the roach using the roach's antenna. It then leads the roach to it's burrow so that it can lay it's a 2cm (0.78in) long egg on the roach's abdomen. The roach, now zombified, stays there while the egg hatches and the larva burrows into it to consume it's internal organs.
3. East African Giant Snail
This enormous Gastropod can have grow upwards of 20cm (7.87in) in length. That's certainly beyond the realm of a cute little snail, however; that's not the only thing that makes them disturbing. Apparently, when they infest an area, they are nearly impossible to eradicate. There have been many methods employed including flame throwers and containing/starving them with salt and pesticides which were quite ineffective.
4. The Sea Wasp
This is widely regarded as the most lethal of all box jellyfish. When hunting, the tentacles on this nightmare creature can be as long as 3m (9.8ft) long and are covered in many thousands of stinging cells that act as miniature darts injecting a very powerful venom. A fatal sting has been known to do it's work in less than 4 minutes on a full grown adult human. This is notably faster than snake, spider or insect venom. Many victims die from cardiac arrest or drowning before they can reach safety.
5. Hippopotamus
Chances are, if you are in Africa and are killed, then you were killed by a Hippopotamus. These enormous herbivores are exceptionally aggressive toward anything that they consider a threat especially when they have young present. This includes crocodiles, lions and human who they have been known to attack on site with no provocation. Dead crocodiles are enough to make me weary of this frightening beast.
6. The Platypus
While this odd looking mix of a beaver, an otter and a duck can appear to be cute in the eyes of the correct beholder, it hides a pain inducing secret. Hiding on the hind legs of the male platypus is a set of poisonous barbs that inject a cocktail of poisons unique to this creature. This poison which consists primarily of definsin-like proteins is capable of killing smaller animals such as dogs and cats but not plentiful enough in the sting of a platypus, however; it can cause such intense pain that it is possible to render a human unconscious. After the sting, a heightened sensitivity to pain has been reported to last from hours to months in a victim.
7. Tree Weta
The nearly impossible to kill Tree Weta can grow up to 40mm (1.5in) in length and most commonly inhabit holes in trees left by beetle and moth larvae. A chemical in their blood acts as a type of anti-freeze allowing them to be completely frozen down to 14 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effects when thawed. Now the kicker, apparently as they freeze, their brain and heart dies. When they are thawed back out, the brain and heart come back to life making this insect nature's way of making a Romero film.
All of the creatures listed above would be considered exotic species here in Louisiana, so lets talk about something that is scary and found right here in Louisiana wetlands, the Cotton Mouth Snake or Water Moccasin. The Water Moccasin is an extremely venomous snake and the only semi-aquatic pit viper. Their bite is extremely painful and occasionally fatal. While the aggressive nature of the snake has bee exaggerated, they do not run when confronted and on rare occasions the male of the species has been known to approach humans.
9. Hurricanes
So far this list has concentrated on nature's frightening animals and insects but nature has more ways to scare us. Another force of nature that is common in the Gulf region of the United States is the hurricane. Many remember the destruction wrought by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 which led to over 1500 human casualties and countless animal deaths. And though hurricane deaths are relatively low compared to other extreme weather deaths, the force itself is enough to give one pause. Hurricanes can grow larger than 888km (552mi) in diameter and garner winds that can reach up to 314km/h (195mph). It's no wonder hurricanes are the only natural disaster we give names to.
10. The Bubonic Plague
I think that a natural force that eradicated a 30 to 60% of the population of Europe in the 14th century is a great way to round out this list. The Y. pestis bacteria is the culprit responsible for the myriad of terrible symptoms that appeared during the plague including: acral gangrene, continuous vomiting, fever, muscle cramps, seizures and more. While we now have anti-bacterial treatments that can cure the plague, more and more infections diseases are becoming immune to our drugs and nature is always creating new single celled and micro-organisms to wreak havoc on us as a species.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Seventh Ten. Numbers from 0 to 11.
1. 7 - Cause it's lucky number 7
2. 3 - The appropriate number of examples to give when making a statement or argument.
4. 2 - It's not the loneliest number
5. 9 - The movie was awesome
6. 11 - It's one more...than ten.
7. 10 - I like that it is also 2
8. 6 - It sounds like "sex" in German.
9. 5 - King Kong Bundy punk!
10. 0 - It's the only number I know of that people have been killed simply for acknowledging
2. 3 - The appropriate number of examples to give when making a statement or argument.
4. 2 - It's not the loneliest number
5. 9 - The movie was awesome
6. 11 - It's one more...than ten.
7. 10 - I like that it is also 2
8. 6 - It sounds like "sex" in German.
9. 5 - King Kong Bundy punk!
10. 0 - It's the only number I know of that people have been killed simply for acknowledging
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Sixth Ten. People You Would Bite/Eat if You Were a Zombie.
- Kirk Cameron - (Eat) I would follow it with a banana :)
- Christopher Walken - (Bite) First off, "The Walken Dead" is a great pun. Second I'd love to hear that zombie. “Hey. Like. Arrr Growll, guys”
- Robert Smith - (Bite) because he would be an awesome Zombie, and the zombies will need entertainment.
- George A Romero - (Bite) for the pure poetry of it.
- Obama and Romney - (Bite) Zombie in the White House, they couldn't do worse.
- Fred Phelps - (Eat) cause fuck that guy, that's why.
- Jeffery Steingarten - (Eat) a fitting end for the author of "The man who ate everything"
- Rob Zombie - (Bite) Rob Zombie zombie!
- Neil DeGrasse Tyson - (Bite) Zombie science FTW!
- M. Night Shymalan - (Eat) Secret twist ending...I’m not a zombie at all, and M. Night Shyamalan is actually a slice of pizza!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
The Fifth Ten. Best Movie Adaptation
1. Fight Club
An adaptation so good, the author of the book said he liked it better than the book.
2. The Outsiders
One of my all time favorite novels turned into a movie filled with people who had amazing careers including: Matt Dillon, Patrick Swazye, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise and more.
3. Hellraiser
This movie was adapted from the novel The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker. The movie was quite different than the book, allowing both to be enjoyed separately.
4. The Shining
One of the few Stephen King movies I've enjoyed. A horror classic thanks to Jack Nicholson.
5. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
I've never read the novel this movie was based on but I can say that this movie, the original version, was seriously intense.
6. Sin City
Such a faithful recreation of the comic that you can match panels from the comic up directly to the screen.
7. The Lord of the Rings
While the movies were not perfectly faithful to the novels, they were still beautiful and well done. The special effects alone were enough to put it on this list.
8. American Psycho
What can you say, Bateman was amazing.
9. The Exorcist
I still get chills watching this movie and I remember having a lot of difficulty sleeping after reading the book.
10. Ironman
One of the best superhero movies ever made, hands down. Robert Downing Jr. truly embodied Tony Stark.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Fourth Ten. Top Ten Reasons We Didn't Post a List
1. We ate some bad fish.
2. They apparently don't write themselves
3. Why do today what can be done never
4. Nasty cheese grater accident
5. We ate the dog's homework
6. Too busy counting the days till 12-21-2012
7. Making tinfoil hats for number 6
8. You don't know us...you don't know nothing bout us!
9. We were running from the pimps
10.
2. They apparently don't write themselves
3. Why do today what can be done never
4. Nasty cheese grater accident
5. We ate the dog's homework
6. Too busy counting the days till 12-21-2012
7. Making tinfoil hats for number 6
8. You don't know us...you don't know nothing bout us!
9. We were running from the pimps
10.
Monday, May 21, 2012
The Third Ten. Top Ten Insane Characters from Books
HAL from 2001 by Arthur C Clarke
While it is debatable if an artificial intelligence can truly go insane, the actions of HAL, if performed by a human, would certainly qualify. Also, the reasoning behind these murderous actions, conflicting objectives, would be very much a source of insanity in a human. There is something haunting about the cold calculating computer murdering but then a feeling of sorrow when he asks, "Will I Dream?"
Jack Merridew from Lord of the Flies by William Golding
It has been a very long time since I last read Lord of the Flies but I will always remember the premise. The insanity that can come when people are put into dire situations and the humanity that can be lost when you hide behind a mask. And Jack being the primary antagonist and the one who separates the group into two tribes due to his obsession with continuing the hunt puts him at the top of the list from this particular story.
Jack Torrance from The Shining by Stephen King
While both Jack's (the novel version and the film version) are driven to insanity, the novel version is far more tragic. His relatively quick descent into insanity at the hotel lead him to nearly murder his family. However; in the end he is given the chance to redeem himself by saving them before they are killed in a boiler explosion.
Alex from A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Dexter Morgan from Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
Felix from Armor by John Steakley
I think it is easy to argue the fact of Felix's insanity in Armor. The "Engine" could simply be a coping device, however; the desire to die being overridden by the "Engine" leads me to believe that it is almost a second personality inside of Felix's mind. This ambiguity and the duality of Felix's mind is what makes the story of Armor more interesting to me than most space war novels.
Shaun Mason from Deadline by Mira Grant
In this sequel to Feed by Mira Grant, Shaun has a bit of insanity creep into his mind. It gives a great deal of humor that is often seen in more slapstick ways in other zombie novels and movies. His insanity also, oddly enough, serves as a moral compass and voice of reason which can be fascinating at times.
Richard Talbott (a.k.a. Chef Assassin) from Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
It would have been easy to select the narrator from Fight Club for this list, however; I've always found the Chef even more fascinating. His murderous nature driven by a lack of belief in his abilities and his blackmailing of a knife company make him not only crazy but rather well set with forethought.
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
The Narrator from The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe
The Tell-Tale Heart may not be a book on it's own but as a story it is one of my favorites by Edgar Allen Poe. The lack of clarity in many aspects of the story (such as the gender of the narrator) and the fact that the details of the narrator's story are unreliable make the story fascinating. Also it hints at the various insanities that the narrator may be suffering from.
While it is debatable if an artificial intelligence can truly go insane, the actions of HAL, if performed by a human, would certainly qualify. Also, the reasoning behind these murderous actions, conflicting objectives, would be very much a source of insanity in a human. There is something haunting about the cold calculating computer murdering but then a feeling of sorrow when he asks, "Will I Dream?"
Jack Merridew from Lord of the Flies by William Golding
It has been a very long time since I last read Lord of the Flies but I will always remember the premise. The insanity that can come when people are put into dire situations and the humanity that can be lost when you hide behind a mask. And Jack being the primary antagonist and the one who separates the group into two tribes due to his obsession with continuing the hunt puts him at the top of the list from this particular story.
Jack Torrance from The Shining by Stephen King
While both Jack's (the novel version and the film version) are driven to insanity, the novel version is far more tragic. His relatively quick descent into insanity at the hotel lead him to nearly murder his family. However; in the end he is given the chance to redeem himself by saving them before they are killed in a boiler explosion.
Alex from A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Dexter Morgan from Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
Felix from Armor by John Steakley
I think it is easy to argue the fact of Felix's insanity in Armor. The "Engine" could simply be a coping device, however; the desire to die being overridden by the "Engine" leads me to believe that it is almost a second personality inside of Felix's mind. This ambiguity and the duality of Felix's mind is what makes the story of Armor more interesting to me than most space war novels.
Shaun Mason from Deadline by Mira Grant
In this sequel to Feed by Mira Grant, Shaun has a bit of insanity creep into his mind. It gives a great deal of humor that is often seen in more slapstick ways in other zombie novels and movies. His insanity also, oddly enough, serves as a moral compass and voice of reason which can be fascinating at times.
Richard Talbott (a.k.a. Chef Assassin) from Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
It would have been easy to select the narrator from Fight Club for this list, however; I've always found the Chef even more fascinating. His murderous nature driven by a lack of belief in his abilities and his blackmailing of a knife company make him not only crazy but rather well set with forethought.
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
The Narrator from The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe
The Tell-Tale Heart may not be a book on it's own but as a story it is one of my favorites by Edgar Allen Poe. The lack of clarity in many aspects of the story (such as the gender of the narrator) and the fact that the details of the narrator's story are unreliable make the story fascinating. Also it hints at the various insanities that the narrator may be suffering from.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
The Second Ten. Top Ten Cover Songs
I will survive by Cake
Recorded 1996 on Fashion Nugget
Originally by Gloria Gaynor
Recorded 1978 as a B Side
While I really love this cover, the slight change to the lyrics does change the whole meaning of some parts of the song, and this is Gloria Gaynor’s least favorite cover of her song due to the added profanity.
You Do Something to Me by Sinead O'Connor
Recorded 1990 on Red Hot and Blue
Originally by Cole Porter
Recorded 1929 on 50 Million Frenchmen
Such a beautiful rendition of this song. You really get to hear her range and her haunting voice. It’s a shame she is batshit cukoo, lovely song none the less
Have a Ball by Me First and the Gimme Gimme's
Recorded 1997 on Have a Ball
Originally by Billy Joel
Recorded 1983 on An Innocent Man
It’s Me First, that is all.
Feeling Good by Muse
Recorded 2001 on Origin of Symmetry
Originally sung by Cy Grant
In 1965 for the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint - The Smell of the Crowd
I don’t believe I have ever heard the original of this song, just this cover, and Nina Simone’s. Both are fantastic. It’s a tossup.
Love Song by Jack off Jill
Recorded 2000 on Clear Hearts Grey Flowers
Originally by The Cure
Recorded 1989 on Disintegration
Same as above comment, The Cure really doesn’t need to be redone, but they do a great job of it.
Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
Recorded 1994 on Grace
Originally by Leonard Cohen
Recorded 1984 on Various Positions
Jeff Buckley's version of this song is truly haunting. The amount of negative space left in the song fills in the story better than a dozen instruments could. This rendition shows how an artist can take a song and, with subtle changes, make it a unique version.
Easy by Faith No More
Recorded 1993 on Songs to Make Love To
Originally by The Commodores
Recorded 1977 on Commodores
I love this version of Easy simply because it allowed Mike Patton an opportunity to showcase the soulful side of his vocals. He has an amazing range of styles and tone that, prior to this, hadn't truly been heard. I'm not often a fan of songs being covered so closely to the original but in this case it makes for a remarkable track.
Everybody Knows by Concrete Blonde
Recorded 1990 on The Pump Up the Volume Soundtrack
Originally by Leonard Cohen
Recorded 1988 on I'm Your Man
For a long time, I thought this was a Concrete Blonde song. The lyrics and tone of the song are very reminiscent of their usual work. When I found out it was originally by Leonard Cohen, I shouldn't have been surprised since I like so many songs people have covered of his. In this case, the original and the cover are both amazingly equal in their execution.
I Am Stretched on Your Grave by Dead Can Dance
Recorded 1994 on Toward the Within
From an Anonymous 17th century Irish poem titled "Táim sínte ar do thuama"
Every time I hear this song, I get chills. It was covered previously by a few artists including Sinead O'Connor but I don't think anyone covered it as well as Dead Can Dance. Anyone who can listen to this song and not be moved must be dead inside.
All Along the Watchtower by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Recorded 1968 on Electric Lady Land
Originally by Bob Dylan
Recorded 1964 on John Wesley Harding
Bob Dylan has often been called the most covered artist in modern music. I don't know if this is true but I do know that while All Along the Watchtower was written and originally performed by Dylan, this is the official version of the song in most people's books. Bob Dylan himself has said that this is his favorite version. I've heard some great versions since including the version by Michael Hedges that take a different route with the song but Jimi's version will always have a special place.
Friday, May 4, 2012
The First Ten. Top Ten Songs from Soundtracks.
Lost Boys 1987
Cry Little Sister
Gerard McMann and Michael Mainieri
Singles 1992
Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns
Mother Love Bone
PCU 1994
Stomp
George Clinton Parliament Funkadelic
Lost Highway 1997
Eye
The Smashing Pumpkins
Reality Bites 1994
Stay
Lisa Loeb
Cool World 1992
Play With Me
Play With Me
Thompson Twins
9 ½ Weeks 1988
Slave to Love
Bryan Ferry
Some Kind of Wonderful 1987
The Hardest Walk
The Hardest Walk
The Jesus and Mary Chain
Pretty In Pink 1986
Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
The Smiths
The Breakfast Club 1985
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't You Forget About Me
Simple Minds
Valley Girl 1994
First of 2 soundtrack compilations released approximately 10 years after the movie.
A Million Miles Away
Valley Girl 1994
First of 2 soundtrack compilations released approximately 10 years after the movie.
A Million Miles Away
The Plimsouls
Add your favorite soundtrack songs in comments.
Add your favorite soundtrack songs in comments.
Introduction
Welcome to the FiveHundredTwenty blog. This is a collaborative effort by Nicole and Lance to entertain our many conversations regarding the best of the best. Each week we select a themed list and submit our own top 10 lists. From those lists we select our 5 must haves and combine them to form a single list. The lists are listed with no ordering.
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